Poor Vespa. It has been so neglected lately.
There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is that I went on a short vacation two weeks ago, but the "planning for" and "recovery from" periods extended the impact said short vacation had on my available Vespa riding time, which is low to begin with. Being a grown-up sucks, because unlike the cashier or data-entry or call center jobs of yore, the work that arose during the vacation was still waiting for me when I got back. There was no “other” person on a nameless team of people to do it in my absence. It makes a vacation almost not worth it, no?
The second is that The Roommate dared me to break one of my all-time cardinal rules, and I regretfully accepted. You know how when you go to the zoo to visit the baby pandas, there are little signs around that say DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS along with some fine print about how the zoo isn’t trying to be mean, it’s just that human food is not good for them? I seriously think there should be a sign posted within ten feet of me at all times that says DO NOT GIVE GINNY FICTION with some fine print about how it’s for my own good and some bold print especially warning against serial young adult fiction. Cause honestly people, it is like crack to me—once I start, I cannot put it down, no matter how mediocre the writing.
Unfortunately, I have no such sign and so The Roommate didn’t know what damage she was doing when she offered me her copy of Twilight, the first book in Stephenie Meyer’s young adult series about hot teen vampire romance (words I never expected to type). It’s fiction, by the way, and in case you’re like me and you never heard of it, it is somewhat of a cultural phenomenon and a major bestseller—or so the tweens whose online Twilight forums I’ve been stalking have informed me. Incidentally, it is also written by an LDS girl who grew up in Scottsdale, Arizona (and although I am also an LDS girl who grew up in Scottsdale and there aren’t that many of us, I don’t know her. But the books are not LDS-themed*). Thank goodness the Roommate did this on a Friday night instead of like a Wednesday night or something, because it only resulted in a Lost Weekend instead of a Lost Workweek Replete With Lost Job. I read Twilight on Friday night after work, made my way through the second book, New Moon, on Saturday and Sunday, and finished the third, Eclipse, by Tuesday. I’m not saying these books are the best thing since Ulysses, but they are definite page-turners. Needless to say, reading approximately 1800 pages and discussing them with The Roommate and the sisters and the mom and lurking on tween online forums and feeling shame for lurking on tween online forums and wondering why I don’t have the html skills of the average 11-year old and sleeping and working and attending church over a four-day period does not leave much time to take the Vespa out for a spin. In fact, it doesn’t leave much time for grocery shopping or laundry washing or any number of things that should be done on the average weekend and should especially be done on a weekend following a short vacation.
The third reason is that I recently ordered a snappy new baby blue and white helmet, which has not yet arrived. But just knowing that it exists and is on its way makes me all the more saddened at the thought of riding with my current gargantuan black helmet. I promise to post pics comparing the two once the new one finally gets here. In fact, I promise to ride the Vespa somewhere dreamy in the coming week and post pics of that as well.
In other news, Vespa is holding an amateur video contest to promote their new “Vespanomics” campaign. The winning auteur will receive a new Vespa GTS, which puts my lil’ LX-150 to shame. More importantly, if I already know the winning auteur, he or she can be in my scooter gang. I have seen some of the entries and I know you can do better, people. Get on it!
Apologies for yet another self-obsessed, pic-less post. I have every intention of mending my ways shortly.
* And for you non-Morms out there, I just want to assure you that Vampire mythology and other elements of the occult are not a part of our religious beliefs, no matter what your neighbor who “knew a guy” told you.
